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This was not an optimal situation.
Jervis sighed, dejectedly crossing his arms as he glared about the make-shift laboratory. Jonathan had promised he would meet him at the chemical lab, but Jervis should have known better. Promises were pie crusts, and he had ground more than his fair share between his teeth, oh yes, all burnt and black, bitter ashy tasting fallacy.
But this was accidental. Jonathan was always one of those individuals whose sanity and insanity fluctuated spasmodically, as rapidly rising and falling as the readings of an earthquake, or a brain scan, or a fluttering heart beat. Jervis gave a sad little noise, still displeased at the empty vicinity. No fun. No fun at all.
Muttering darkly under his breath, he pulled a thermos from his oversized coat pocket, breathing gently as the warmth from within radiated out and warmed his fingers in a friendly way. With a flourish, he swept the lid off and downed a swallow.
It took everything within his power not to spit it back up.
Bitter. Oh how bitter it was! Jervis swallowed, gagging. Disgusting. Absolutely, totally, horribly, disgusting. The lion and the unicorn would have set aside their differences so as to run him through if he had served this to them. His face twisted as he smacked his tongue and lips repeatedly, hoping against hope that perhaps the stale air of the place would null the tang of unsweetened tea, but it did not. Jervis flew into a panic. This was awful.  He flew around the room, opening compartments and flinging the doors off of cupboards. Sugar! The man needed to have sugar somewhere! Oh, it felt like the Queen of Hearts was having a tantrum upon his tongue! Jervis yanked a draw open and cried with relief. Sweet joy! He grabbed the small zip-lock bag from its hiding place and brought it over to the table. Powered sugar! What luck! Twice as sweet and twice as quick to dissolve into his beloved tea and lead him to paradise. Jervis poured the entire contents in, swirling it about and watching gleefully as it curled into the dark liquid as if it was being sucked down the rabbit hole.
He drank deeply.
----------------------------------------
Jonathan had had enough.
Beyond enough. If obtuse drug lords were not on his case, then it was Batman, and vice versa. Today, however, today, it had been both, and the Harvey Dent, and the Penguin, and who knew who else but apparently he had upset many an important person with his recent raid on air-conditioning systems. He trudged to his lair, beaten and bruised as usual, cursing everything in existence under his breath.
Something jumped him from behind.
Jonathan threw the intruder off of him as he grabbed his fear gas, livid. This was enough. If he could do nothing else, it would be that he could kill this one individual and laugh about the look on his face as it was smeared in mental fluids that poured from his eye sockets as fear exploded (at least that was what it was supposed to do; the last person he tried it on giggled like a school girl).
"JOHNA-A-A-A-A-A-ATHAN!"
"Jervis?!"
Damnit. He had forgotten. Sighing, he replaced the canister, bringing his other hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he eyed the mad man before him, squirming on the floor like an upturned bug or a rather stupid dog. The man had most likely gotten board and gone into a momentary laps of deep insanity, like usual.
Oh this was turning out to be a longer day than expected.
"JOHNATHN! JOHNATHAN! SCAAAAAARE CROOOOOOOW!"
"Jervis, stop. I am in no mood for this."
"THE SCARECROW REEPS THE SUGAR CANE OOOOOUT IN THE FEEEEEEILDS OF-OF-ofofofofofof MUMBIIIIII!!"
He finally righted himself, clamoring to his feet as he tugged on Jonathans shirt, pulling it roughly as he spoke again, "MAGIC I TELL YOU, MAGIC! THE C-C-CANDY MAN IS COMING TO TOWN, ALONG WITH SANTA AND THE CHECHIRE CAT!"
"Jervis, I don't have sugar, I don't to magic, and I detest being called the candy man. Now, I demand that you cease your antics before I do."
"H-HEY JONATHAN! JONATHAN! HEY! Hey! Hey Jonathan, hey, want to see something funny?"
Jonathan sighed.
"What, Jervis?"
Suddenly, Jervis grabbed his nose and pulled, hard. Jonathan yelped in pain and shoved the laughing mad man away from him, cursing.
"WHAT THE HELL JERVIS?!"
"GOT YOUR NOISE!" he cackled, clapping his hands together.
"Jerivs, either you tell me what's going on, or so help me-!"
"WHERE EVER YOU GET YOUR SWEETS, YOU MUST, OH PLEASE, TELL ME! WHERE EVER YOU GET YOUR POWDERY JOY YOU MUST MUST SHARE WITH ME!"
"Sw- powdery- what are you-?"
Everything clicked.
Jonathan sank to the floor, head in his hands, while the mad man jumped about.
His day had just gotten worse.
I'm tired. I'll put more later.

Jervis, Jonathan, and everyone else belongs to DC.

*rolls over and sleeps*
© 2011 - 2024 MonkeysUndles
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